he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I will pee on everything he values.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
