and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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