we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
