apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
