We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
