Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
