Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I understand Curling. That high.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
