I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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