I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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