I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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