Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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