NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
