I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did you just see the Batmobile???
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
