Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
