i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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