If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
