dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
