He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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