im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
