i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
