He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
