Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
