you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
