they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
