okay pat passed out under dana's car
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
