i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
