I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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