But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
