she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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