actually, I'm a sock model
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I looked at my own cervix.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
