The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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