Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
