I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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