Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
