WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Damn victory sex feels great
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