I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
