I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
