just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
