a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
