Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
