it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
