Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
