My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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