help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
