Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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