If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
