she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you had me at cake vodka
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
