Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
