'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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