Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
