I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
